Parenting – Taming Toddler's Temper Tantrums

Just like adults, toddlers can have a bad day. Very often, toddlers do not have the skills they need to handle those emotions and a tantrum ensues. The child may overreact, whine and cry, bang their head, hold their breath, or just throw their body to the floor, kicking and screaming, pounding their fists in rage. Little boys and girls, between the ages of 1 and 3, all experience this to one degree or another. A lot of it has to do with innate character. Some children will pitch a fit at the drop of a hat and others have a slower fuse. It is simply their nature.

Toddlers are learning all the time, even when you wish they would not. Very often, they know what they want to be able to do but they do not have the skills, abilities or permission. Their frustration levels, understandably, can roller-coaster up and down in a matter of minutes, finally ending in a full-blown tantrum. There are many factors that contribute to the likelihood of a toddler having a tantrum. They are far more likely to lose control of themselves emotionally when they are hungry, tired, over stimulated or frightened. Sometimes it just does not make sense to us adults but the truth is simple: toddlers have a lot going on physically, intellectually, emotionally and socially and, sometimes, it's just more than they can handle.

Everyone has heard of the Terrible Twos. During this explosive growth period, language is being learned at a phenomenal rate. Children of this age know and understand much more than many people give them credit for and that can lead to tantrums. As the child's ability to communicate in a socially acceptable manner improves, the causes of frustration that leads to tantrums tend to decrease.

There are simple measures parents can take that will help their child learn to be the master of their own emotions and to avoid tantrums. It's a matter of picking your battles. Toddlers generally forget about things they do not see, so keeping those items which may lead to an outburst out of sight can eliminate the problem all together. Actively engaging your toddler will keep their attention focused away from frustrations and will help them develop the skills they need to handle frustration on their own. Take the time to teach them what behaviors are reasonable, offer acceptable alternatives and explain to the child what it is about the alternatives that make them acceptable.

Children need our love, our attention and conversation while adults. This is how they learn to be adults themselves. Too often, children are pushed away, told to go watch TV, play outside, stop being a pest. This is not the way to raise an emotionally healthy child. Instead, make the time to create positive learning activities with your toddler. If neglected, the toddler will find negative ways to get your attention, often in the form of a tantrum. Improve your relationship with your child by actively searching out and "catching them" being good. By giving recognition for positive actions, those actions are more likely to reoccur.

Toddler temper tantrums are exhausting, embarrassing and counterproductive. It is up to the adults to eliminate, where possible, the causes of tantrums, to give the child the skills they need to handle themselves and to encourage positive behavior by rewarding it with loving attention.

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