Parenting With Purpose

As a young person I noticed that there are some things that

people are just plain good at. Its like they are a natural.

Baseball, football, basketball no matter the sport, the truly

great athletes were born athletes.. That is not to say that they

did not have to practice. It just seems like SUCCESS came much

easier for them.

My guess is that by now you are thinking… I thought this was

going to be an article on parenting. Wow! It occurred to me that

no one is naturally a great parent even though we all, well most

all, want to do a great job raising our child or children.

Think about it. The consequences of being a bad parent are more

than a little inconvenient. In the next few paragraphs I would

like to share with you my ideas on how to raise a confident,

respectful, independent, fun loving, and obedient child that

should be prepared to live in this great society that we live in.

If you are thinking there are more qualities that a child should

learn, I agree with you, that would take a book or maybe even

volumes to cover. Maybe that will be next.

Raising the Confident Child

Keep in mind that a child has develops his or her complete value

system by the age of four or five. With that in mind, if you

plan on raising a confident child you can not wait until they are

in their teens and are in need of professional help. Raising the

confident child begins with each and every interaction that you

as a parent have with your newborn child. Here is a list of tips

that will assist you in raising the confident child.

  • 1. When interacting with your child, speak to them in a normal everyday voice. Baby talk is learned. You do not want your child to have to break that speech pattern when they enter school.
  • 2. Make a big deal out of small accomplishments. If you want your child to be a people pleaser and gain confidence they must first receive that positive feed back from you.
  • 3. Do not raise your voice when correcting your child. I know this will be difficult, but it is very important. Remember, you are the adult in every situation. Irrational behavior such as screaming or yelling only teaches a child how to be irrational, not confident.
  • 4. Be specific. Do not merely tell your child, “You must be good.” Most young children need for you to be specific. Tell them specifically what it is that you want them to do.

Raising the Respectful Child

Many people will tell you respect has to be earned. While this

is true in our adult world, teaching respect to a two or three

year old is different. A child learns respect by modeling their

parents behavior. If you want a respectful child, you must be

his or her example.

If your child sees you showing respect to grandparents, friends,

and neighbors then he will learn respect. On the other hand, if

you start talking negatively about them as soon as they are out

of sight, the child will perceive this as acceptable behavior.

It is very important that you genuinely respect and care for the

people that you and your child interact with.

Raising the Independent Child

While it is hard for a new parent to even think about the

importance of independence, one can not start too early. We all

want our child to eventually make their own decisions. But the

trick is to give them this responsibility only when it truly does

not matter to you what decision they make.

Young children will often ask to go and play outside. This is

the perfect opportunity for you to say, “I am going to let you

decide.” This will teach them how to make decisions and they

will realize that sometimes it will be up to them.

As they get older and their decisions become more important it

will be imperative that you continue to let them make the

decision. Safety is always of high importance, but if no one is

going to get hurt, much can be learned through good and bad

decision making.

Raising the Fun-Loving, Happy Child

We all want our children to be happy and have fun as they grow

up. The biggest problem is when parents do not listen to their

children. Yes! That is what I said. You must listen to your

child. Many parents expect their child to be little clones of

themselves.

Many parents try to live their second childhood out through their

children. This may be the result of a false pretense or a dream

that the parent could not have achieved because of a lack of

ability. Just because you like fishing does not mean your child

will. You may have enjoyed tap or ballet as a child but your

child may never put those shoes on.

Like I said, listen to your child. Bed time is a great time to

wind down and listen to your child tell you what they enjoyed

about the day. If you will listen, you can find out what they

dream about and what is important to them.

They are just like us, sometimes they just need to let someone

else know how excited they are about their next adventure.

Sometimes they need to let someone know if they had their

feelings hurt that day. Some of my fondest memories have been a

good talk or listen followed by a prayer.

Raising the Obedient Child

This quality I saved for last because I think it is very

important in preparing a child for each of the other qualities.

A confident, respectful, independent, fun loving, and happy child

can not achieve these qualities without being obedient. In order

to raise an obedient child, the child must be confident that you

as the parent love and respect them.

In order to raise an obedient child they must be allowed to be

independent and make decisions even when you are not there to

assist them. Lastly, you can bet that an unhappy child will be

anything but obedient. So if you want to raise an obedient child

that obeys his parents, grand parents, teachers, and someday even

his or her employer, you must convince them that to be obedient

is more valuable than disobedience.

I believe that good things happen to people who are obedient to

their elders and supervisors. This must become a part of a

child’s value system. Remember, I stated that children form

their value system at a very early age. Many believe they form

their value system by the age of four or five. So it is up to us

to teach our children the importance and rewards of being

obedient.

Raising children is our most important purpose in life as a

parent. None of us are naturally great or gifted as parents.

Our own childhood experiences may or may not be helpful. It is

my most sincere hope that some of this advice will assist you in

the blessed adventure of raising children.

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