When you allow your children to participate in household responsibilities that are age appropriate, such as helping make dinner or putting away groceries, you are helping your children understand their importance within the family. By enabling your children to accomplish attainable goals and tasks and providing them with a sense of belonging and stability within your family, you are helping build their self-esteem and self-worth. Routine and order are both important to your child's mental and emotional health and well-being. Children who know the expectations placed upon them and have the ability to meet these expectations are often happier and better adjusted than those who have no expectations or responsibilities placed on them. When you as a parent are just beginning to institute a system of household responsibilities within your family, it will be important for you to ensure that the responsibilities placed on each child are age appropriate and within the child's capabilities to meet. Below are some ideas for age appropriate household responsibilities.
Setting Age Appropriate Household Responsibilities
You will probably be surprised at the many and varied ways your children will be able to contribute to your family's household responsibilities. Even 2-3 year olds can help with family responsibilities and begin learning at an early age how helping out makes them an important and valuable part of the family. In addition, children are able to learn grown-up skills by participating in grown-up tasks and responsibilities. Of course, you know your children better than anyone, and you can assign household responsibilities based on the child's strengths, talents, and interests. In general the tasks you delegate to your children will depend on their age, and the following list is a suggestion of suitable tasks for specific age groups:
Ages 2-4:
• Picking up toys or books and returning them to their proper place
• Helping make their bed
• Helping clean up messes
• Taking dirty laundry to the laundry room
• Putting clean laundry on clothes hooks
• Putting (plastic) dishes in the sink
Ages 4-6:
• Helping with grocery shopping and putting away groceries
• Setting and clearing the table
• Watering the garden and plants
• Sorting dirty clothes and putting away clean clothes
• Helping adults prepare meals (must be supervised)
• Feeding and providing clean water for the family's pets
Ages 7-12:
• Washing the dishes
• Helping with basic meal planning
• Cleaning the bathroom
• Cleaning and organizing storage closets
• Taking the dog for a walk
• Helping parents with grocery shopping
Ages 13-18:
• Mowing the lawn
• Babysitting younger brothers and sisters
• Preparing grocery lists and meals
• Washing and hanging out clothes
• Taking out rubbish
• Mopping floors and dusting
The Goal of Setting Household Responsibilities
Children aged 2-6 enjoy helping with household responsibilities and often see these tasks as fun, grown-up adventures. Even if your children are not able to fully complete the chore in a truly helpful manner – if by "helping" they make an even bigger mess – your continued encouragement will foster excitement in your children and create habits that will be beneficial to them as they grow and mature. Pre-teens and teens can take on increasing responsibility as they grow older, and older teens can perform almost any adult household responsibility. As the level of responsibility increases, the consequences for not completing these tasks may increase as well. Your children will be able to see how their actions, or the lack thereof, affect the entire family. For example, if one of your children decides to sleep-in one morning, the whole family will be late and the routine will be off all day. This is a consequence of which your children will be able to see and feel the effects.
When Rewards are Appropriate
Some experts suggest that it is best not to provide children of any age group with monetary rewards for completing household responsibilities. While this may be true for younger children (toddlers, pre-schoolers, and pupils), you as a parent may find it appropriate to provide pre-teens and teens with some type of monetary reward because of the increasing level of responsibility undertaken by your children. However, there are no written rules directing you to pay your children, regardless of age, for helping with household responsibilities. You have the liberty to make this determination based on your own convictions and your family's unique dynamics.
Household responsibilities are an excellent way to provide your children with a sense of purpose, competence, ability, and importance within your family. In addition, the stress your feel as a parent can be minimized because you have help completing necessary household tasks. You can help your children understand why it is important for every family member to complete his or her assigned tasks by taking time to have family discussions regarding household responsibilities. Having everyone do their part will not only help your family grow stronger but it will help each individual in the family grow stronger as well.
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