Parents who are experiencing a child with behavior problems are in a difficult situation. All parents should keep in mind that behavior, good or bad, is a form of communication from a child. It is the job of parents to help shape the behavior and to interpret what the child is trying to say.
Children who are around the age of 9 or 10 are still developing mentally and physically. They are testing their limits and learning about their environments. Kids in this age range still may not have the communication skills they need to relay their feelings. They may feel overwhelmed by changes or by pressure and not know how to express it. This is when inappropriate behaviors might occur.
One of the first mistakes a parent makes is automatically jumping into the discipline mode. Before a child can learn to not do something, he or she must learn what to do instead. Parents have to teach a child a replacement behavior or what they want the child to do instead of engaging in hitting or screaming.
A child learns how to behave from his environment. He will repeat a certain behavior, positive or negative, if it receives value or reinforcement. Parents have the difficult task to try to ignore the negative or undesirable behaviors, like hitting or screaming, and try to encourage the positive behaviors like sharing or using an appropriate tone of voice.
Parents can encourage the positive behaviors with praise, attention, role modeling or a positive reinforcement system. Positive reinforcement systems such as offering stickers for good days with a reward at the end of the week can be a good way for children to learn appropriate behaviors.
With a few simple steps, consistent parents will be rewarded with well-behaved children. It’s simply a matter of figuring out what a child is trying to say and being patient enough to teach them an appropriate way to say it.
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