Parenting: Why Does My Child Misbehave?

Parents have a tendency to believe that their children have problems behaving because they are rebellious, have a naturally disobedient personality or some behavioral disorder. While it’s possible that any of the those answers could be correct, habitual misbehaving can have other explanations and causes that many parents do not even take into consideration. Let’s take a look at the most common of these.

1. Children misbehave because they are tired.

When it comes to a need for rest, everyone is different. The same goes for kids. Some children go on like the Energizer Bunny for what seems like hours at a time resisting all attempts to get them to nap or rest, then they just crash and fall asleep. Others need short naps or periods of inactivity to recharge their batteries. A tired child is one that will tend to be annoyed and annoying at the same time, showing little or no interest in following directions or being obedient. Make sure your child is getting the amount of rest that they need. Teach a child to pace themselves so that they will have just the right combination of sleep, rest and activity that works best for them.

2. Children misbehave because they are hungry.

Eating patterns, like sleeping patterns, differ in all children. Some may need to eat more frequently, others less frequently. The type of food ingested definitely has an effects everyone in different ways. Children should eat based on their individual need for nutrition and energy. Parents must take that into consideration before assigning their kids a certain type of diet that they feel will best benefit their child. A child’s craving for certain types of foods can help to alert parents as to what their body is telling them they need.

Children do not always understand what it is they are feeling. If a child needs more energy, he or she can be grouchy and difficult. A child like that may have to eat more often or have their diet altered to include more energy foods. A change in diet or frequency of meals or snacks can easily help to improve a child’s behavior if that is the problem. Consult a physician or dietician before deciding on the best menu for your child. This will insure that he or she receives proper nutrition, while taking into consideration their individual tastes and needs.

3. Children misbehave because they are angry.

Children may experience anger without knowing exactly why they are angry. A child’s anger can manifest itself in many ways. Some kids will be moody, hard to handle and ignore authority figures. Others will lash out by yelling, hitting, bullying others or throwing tantrums. Trying to find the source of a child’s anger is no easy task, but it is one way to eliminate a reason for misbehaving. Depending on the child’s personality, anger can manifest itself because of any one of a number of sources or a combination of those. These might include constant frustration over a specific issue that is bothering them, a change in environment, a dislike of someone, a perception that they are always being mistreated or unfairly singled out, or (in the worst case) the result of physical or mental abuse.

4. Children misbehave because they are sick.

Illness can manifest itself in many ways in children. Most kids do not have the knowledge or ability to interpret changes they feel in their bodies in a manner that lets them know that they may be physically ill. Any child that habitually misbehaves or acts out should receive a thorough physical exam. Parents can also watch for warning signs of possible illness such as sudden changes in appetite, low energy levels, poor sleeping habits or a child’s complaint that they are experiencing regular feelings of pain in any part of their body.

5. Children misbehave because they are afraid.

Reasons that children experience Fear can be rational, irrational or imagined. A child may not recognize what it is that they are really afraid of, so it’s important for parents to find out the source of a child’s fear before it turns into a phobia. Common childhood fears including a fear of being abandoned, unloved, disciplined, lost, injured in some way or disliked. A child might have a fear of water or some specific activity like swimming, camping, boating or flying. They could be afraid of the dark. They might be afraid to be away from their immediate family for any length of time. It’s important to keep the lines of communication as open as possible with your child to be sure you understand, to the best of your and their abilities, what they are thinking and feeling.

6. Children misbehave because they are discouraged.

Discouragement is a complicated emotion for children to try and deal with or verbalize. Instead of acting distant, saying they do not feel like themselves or showing signs of depression as you might expect from an adult who is discouraged, a child may act out, strike out and misbehave to let you know that they do not feel right in some way. Discouragement in children can originate from many sources. These include disappointment, a failure to meet expectations they have for themselves or that others have for them, and even bullying at home, school or during play.

7. Children misbehave because they want attention.

The need for a child to feel noticed by parents and peers can be extremely important to them and a necessary part of their intellectual growth as a person. A child’s craving for attention is a complicated matter that not only includes his or her feeling to sometimes be the center of attention, but also helps to promote the natural development of their personality as they head towards adolescence, the teen years and adulthood.

Children love to do things that draw attention to themselves and push the limits of their abilities. Activities such as putting on shows or exhibiting how well they can perform certain tasks like drawing, excelling at video games or playing sports are typical attention getters. It’s important to praise children at such times. That helps to build their self-confidence which, in turn, encourages proper intellectual and emotional development.

If your child is habitually misbehaving, consider all the possibilities and go down the list until you find the cause or causes. Misbehaving is a problem that cannot be ignored because it can eventually lead to the kind of abnormal or antisocial behavior that will hinder a person’s ability to live a fulfilling life.

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