It can be difficult learning how to accept, that the child that you love so much can bestow such harsh aggression and bring out intense feelings of anger. When parenting aggressive children, It can sometimes be difficult to manage your own emotional temperament during the process. Giving in to the challenge of handling the difficult child by screaming or even acting out yourself, can be very hard on your own self esteem and guilt or regret issues.
Whenever a parent responds in anger to how their aggressive children are behaving, they always end up feeling, less that ideal directly afterward. Remember, we are all human. Learning how to better respond to the misbehaving that can cause you so much pain and frustration; will completely erase all the guilt stricken grief you feel afterwards. There is a wide range of solutions to handling the difficult child with positive and effective discipline.
The best beginning, is that you will need to clarify what misbehavior is absolutely unacceptable and which ones you can allow some flexibility on. Also, certain behavior and circumstances require specific consequences. It will serve you well to identify all these before hand. This way, you are better prepared to respond in a way that gives you some amount of objectivity. This helps tremendously in defining the lines and knowing what to do when these lines are crossed.
You should always keep in mind that your child is still learning and that everyone deserves a second chance. Offering your child another chance can do wonders for you both. In terms of building a good relationship it opens doors. It also keeps the second infraction as sturdy and strong as ever. They, themselves will be made clearly aware of whats already coming. Accepting it as more of a cause and effect perspective, other than coming from you in particular. Keep consistent with your standard of what you consider appropriate behavior. Cross the line once, shame on them, cross the line twice, shame on you.
Always take a step back whenever you are dealing with aggressive children. They can sometimes deliberately push all the right buttons, in order to elicit an inappropriate response. Remember, when handling a difficult child that any attention is better than no attention in the mind of that child.
Some children express their emotions quite easily and with good care and judgement, while others will need more guidance and direction. Linking words to these emotions will help them to process their frustration. But for some, especially aggressive children, words will not be enough. They will act out their anger and frustrations in an egocentric and unproductive manner. They are still seeing the world through their own perspective only.
Giving them a punching bag or pillow to hit is sometimes effective. It can not hurt that is certain. The idea of providing them an outlets begins working immediately. It is therapeutic, productive, can be lots of fun and good exercise.
Sometimes when handling a Difficult child your emotions can get the best of you. If you do blow, recognize the incident in the presence of your child and openly apologize. Also, discuss how you are taking responsibility for your mistake even though it was a reaction to your childs' behavior. Aggressive children need to know they are not alone in dealing with their frustration. Explain to them how you once had to learn to control your emotions too and that nobody is perfect.
Naming the emotions can help by identifying what aggressive children are feeling and why they may be feeling this way. By narrowing down the source it can measure up as some amount of control, this adds comfort and confidence. Helping your child learn how to label his or her feelings will increase their self control, self-esteem, self awareness, as well as the aforementioned comfort and confidence. It will also make handling a difficult child much easier and will take away the empty feeling of making no progress. Once you begin to see them grow in the right direction due to your efforts you will feel much better.
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