Do you struggle to get your children to listen?
You want your child to listen and hear what you have to say. Talk with your child in a way that he will want to listen to you. When we talk to our children we are also teaching them how to talk to others. Here are tips to for getting your child to listen.
Get The Child's Attention
Before you begin to talk to your child get down to their level. That means sit or squat so that you can look them in the eye. Talk softly, vary the tone of your voice and be sure not to be intense so that he does not see you as controlling rather than connecting. If they refuse to look at you, stay calm and continue to speak softly. If the child is small you may want to sit and hold him on your lap while you are speaking.
Address The Child
Start by saying the child's name, "Jimmy, will you please be quiet a minute and listen to what I have to say?" This will help in getting their attention.
Keep It Short
Children, especially small ones, have short attention spans. So children listen better if you do not ramble on. The longer you talk the more likely they will tune you out or be distracted. Too much talking is a mistake when we need their attention. It will give the child the feeling that you are not sure what you want to say therefore their mind will wander. Also keep in mind the age of the one you are addressing.
Keep It Simple
Use language suitable to their age. Keep sentences short and easy to understand. If they start to get a glazed, disinterested look, you are losing their interest or they do not understand what you are talking about.
Be Positive But Not To Direct
Use the words "I want" instead of just saying "Pick up your toys." For example say, "Jimmy, I want you to put your toys away now, it's time for lunch." This will make him feel that he is pleasing you and not being ordered around. Giving a reason will help the child understand.
Calm The Listener
Do not yell, especially if the child is yelling. The louder he talks the softer you talk. This will force him to quiet down. You may just let him vent while you say "I understand." Sometimes just letting him get it out of his system will put thing in perspective. Nothing will sink in when the child is an emotional wreck he just will not hear you! If this still fails, you will both need to have a time out and let the air clear. Tell the child that "we need a break" and when the child listens we will discuss the matter.
Listen To The Child
Since the child learns from example you need to listen to what they have to say. Engage them is short conversations by asking them about something that they like. Give them your undivided attention. This will help when it is their turn to listen.
Listening skills can also be taught through games, ones that they have to listen in order to get their turn or right answer.
Getting your children to listen is one that can be mastered with time and patience. Be a role model and be sure to listen to them. They learn a great deal by duplicating what you do. The longer you have had this problem the longer it will take to correct it.
Children can also be expected to test you once in a while, even if you have the best discipline. Keep it simple and stay calm and know that the reward will be worth it to have well behaved responsible children who listen to adults.
Review The Happy Child Guide for more guidance on parenting.
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