Usually when a couple first get married, they do not do so with the intention of separating later on, for they take vows attesting to never leave each others' side. Yet, we are human beings, prone to conflicts and misunderstandings. Hence, under such conditions, some parents decide that separating would be best for both of them. In many cases, the couples are parents. In such cases, it is very important that they take decisions reflecting the best interests of their children. After the separation, the single parents must make various adjustments in their lives in order to assist each other in creating a good environment in which to raise the children, because in all cases, divorces are a very traumatic and undesirable experience for everyone involved. Parents must respect and understand each others' situation and make responsible decisions.
In many places, there are Post-divorce groups that assist parents in making such adjustments after divorce, helping them deal with the stresses and concerns that divorces involve. There are a few good ones in Detroit. After separation, it is the duty of both the parents to share responsibility in the upbringing of the children. In most cases the children are allowed to stay with one parent, and the other parent can come and visit periodically. In some cases the children stay with both the parents. In some states, like Detroit, this settlement is the first thing that is sorted out, as the lives of the children is of primary concern. Children are usually innocent in matters of events leading up to a divorce.
There are some practical issues that need to be taken care of as the children grow up, and the parents are required to make necessary adjustments in their lives, acknowledging each others' opinions while addressing the needs of the children. Following are a list of such practical issues:
1) Medical check-ups
2) Sports
3) Holiday plans
4) Educational and financial concerns etc.
Some parents decide to go halves in terms of the financial expenses of the children's 'future and some decide otherwise, depending upon the situations of the individuals' concerned. But whatever be the case, the parents must remember that they are still a couple in the sense they still have to raise the children together.
Extreme care and understanding must be exhibited when the children are teenagers. At these times they are young adults and have opinions of their own. They must be given a free hand in deciding for themselves what direction they want to follow.
Ultimately, divorces are a bitter experience and parents must ensure a smooth and comfortable journey as much as possible for their children after that.
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