Parenting – Appropriate Disciplinary Techniques by Age Group

Newborn to 12 Months

If you have a child that is less than 1 year of age, you should be aware that there are few suggested discipline techniques for this age group other than positive reinforcement and redirecting. With very young children the most important things you can do are make sure that you are meeting your child’s needs (i.e. food, sleep, adult interaction) and ensuring the child’s safety (i.e. preventing them from falling down steps or touching something that is hot), positive reinforcement and redirecting respectively.

Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers

Between 12 months and 3 years of age your child’s verbal abilities will increase as will their understanding of words. Rules and the consequences for breaking rules can be verbally expressed to your children at this age, although using concrete examples will help your children fully comprehend what you are trying to communicate. When children become aware that their behavior is against the rules, it is then time to start teaching them that they have to take responsibility for their actions. Along with positive reinforcement and redirecting, verbal explanations and time-outs will be appropriate. The length of a time-out should be based on the child’s age (i.e. one minute per year of life). As your child ages, more discipline techniques become available to you.

Pupils, Pre-teens, and Teens

Between 4 and 12 years of age, children are more readily able to understand the household rules and established consequences. Discipline techniques effective for this age group include: positive reinforcement, redirecting, time-outs, verbal instruction, grounding, and withholding of privileges. For children in the 13-18 age group effective discipline techniques include: positive reinforcement, verbal instruction, grounding, and withholding of privileges. Grounding is most effective for pre-teens and teens. Redirecting and time-outs are generally not effective discipline techniques for 13-18 year olds.

While all of these techniques can help instill acceptable behaviors in your children, one of the most important things you can do for your children is set a good example. If you hold fast to the old adage of “do as I say, not as I do,” you probably will not see the behaviors you desire in your children. It is essential that you see yourself as your child’s role model. Whether you like it or not, your children will pattern their behaviors after your own.

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