Listening is said to be the most difficult skill to teach. That can have a lot to do with both the speaker and the listener. The speaker may not be talking about a topic that interests you, or the listener may be tired and therefore unfocused.
There are a number of reasons why listening and getting people to listen to you is hard work. But there are ways to help your child listen to you and to make you more able to communicate with each other.
Ensure that when you are listening to your child that you look at them. How many times a day do you have to say “Look at me so I know you are listening”? Well, they learn what you teach them. So always give your children your full, undivided attention (where possible) when they are trying to talk to you. In return, they too will look at you when you are talking.
If you want to speak with your child, make sure you are at eye level with them. Seventy percent of all communication is on verbal and so by doing this you are reinforcing to your child that they are important and also that what you are saying is important to them.
When listening to your child, let them finish what they are saying. It is so easy to jump in because you know what they want to say, but this demeans the child and makes them feel as though they are poor communicators. This doesn’t however mean that you should sit there silent.
If when talking to your friend they stop giving you feedback, for example “Umm?” and “really?” then we instantly think they aren’t listening to what you have to say, try it if you don’t believe me. So when you are listening to your child, ensure that you too are giving them positive feedback. This will encourage the child to open up more and feel comfortable in talking.
Listening and communication is just verbal. The posture of your child’s body language and there tone of voice can be the biggest indication of how they are feeling, and this is true reversed.
It is very easy to be sending out vibes that scream “leave me alone!” and your child will pick up on these making it difficult for them to start a conversation.
It is hard to mask your body language, especially after a hard day, but always try to ensure you have open body language that always for communication to be free flowing.
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