As good parents, we strive to meet the challenge of raising our children in a world that continues to rapidly evolve technologically, economically, politically, and socially. Since 9-11 it's safe to say we feel a little more vulnerable than ever before. Has this cautious fear been passed along to our children in a subtle manner? That's a good question. We rarely let our young out of sight which is in sharp contrast to a generation ago, when kids were more often seen playing and roaming the neighborhood with a less watchful eye.
In addition, self doubt and fear about choosing the right method of disciplining children is a struggle for many parents. It's not uncommon to sometimes question our parenting skills. We might ask ourselves if we are doing the right thing or opening enough doors of opportunity in giving our children the best chance at a successful future. We know that we can not turn back the hands of time-so we need to get it right-right now-today.
For example, you want to teach your child to become more cooperative and responsible by giving choices and setting limits in a more democratic home environment as opposed to a permissive one that lends itself to little control. Do you fear that child will not like you as you begin to teach how to behave in a more responsible, cooperative manner? Do you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable when thinking of having to change your own behavior? After all, it's easier and more comfortable to continue on the way it is. Will you feel threatened and unsure of yourself as you try a new pattern of behavior because of the conflict it will create in the beginning? If you are procrastinating or hesitating about changing your behavior, maybe you have feelings of inadequacy or do not want to fail to live up to the high standards that you set for yourself.
As parents sometimes fear and self doubt rears its ugly head and pulls us away from opportunities and possibilities and push us away from personal growth and success. The only way to overcome feeling vulnerable and insecure is to move forward and out of the comfort zone creating a chain reaction based on different action.
Overcoming fear and self doubt begins when we change our negative self talk or change the negative picture that our mind automatically creates as a result of past experiences or conditioning. When we do that, we take hold of our inner power; and when fear and self doubt come knocking, we greet it with wisdom and strength. We develop awareness, stop negative self talk in its tracks, and replace it with positive, reinforcing words. We are no longer cowards who go groveling back to the safe and comfortable place but become courageous moving into a new world of experiences that are above the ordinary.
Learning to trust and believe in ourselves creates more confidence, builds better communication, and builds stronger relationships as we become more positive, effective parents.
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