Holding your baby for the first time gives you immense pleasure. The wait is finally over and after nine long months the pleasure of being a parent slowly starts to sink in. Your life now revolves around your baby and all you can think of giving him or her the best of everything. That brings us to an extremely important question and i.e. what makes a good parent? Is there some magic formula that caters to all parents around the world? To answer that question, there is nothing like ‘one size fits all’ parenting. As a parent you raise a unique and one-of-a-kind child and you truly know what’s best when it comes to upbringing of that kid. Let’s take a look at some parenting styles.
1} Authoritarian Style – This style of parenting is extremely strict and there is a lot of pressure on the child to adhere rules laid out by. It’s mostly like, ‘it’s my way or the highway’ approach. Parents are rigid and harsh. They feel they have natural authority over their children and they need to conform to whatever is said without demanding an explanation. There is absolutely no room for negotiations and the consequences of breaking rules result in being grounded or some other form of punishment. Children mostly are subjected to yelling and spanking in order to discipline them.
The effects of Authoritarian Parenting
Children who are subjected to authoritarian parenting seldom learn to think on their own. They cannot voice their opinion and are pressured to conform to rules laid out at home. They are socially withdrawn and may find hard to channelize their pent-up aggression. Such kids often suffer from low self-esteem and develop resentment towards authority.
2} Permissive Style – When it comes to permissive style of parenting, parents are loving, nurturing, affectionate and warm. However, they tend to overly accept their children’s good or bad behaviour. They assume that their kids are quite capable of doing what’s right for them with little or no parental assistance. Toys, treats, and electronic gadgets are provided as a means to discipline them. This style of parenting is too soft and is also referred to as ‘Indulgent’. Being overly responsive to a child and lack of consistent rules at home leads to raising a spoilt child. Parents are very easily manipulated and can be controlled by their children.
Effects of Permissive Parenting
Upbringing of kids by permissive parents can lead to long term problems. For instance, due to relaxed rules at home, kids aren’t disciplined, be it in school or among peers. This leads to temper tantrums, self-centred, and demanding behaviour.
3} Uninvolved Style – As the name implies, parents here are disengaged in their child’s life. There is hardly any expression of affection or love. Parents are busy fighting amongst each other or are too busy in their respective jobs that leaves them with absolutely no time for their child’s academics, school functions or teaching skills pertaining to life. Children unfortunately are on their own and learn things from ‘the school of hard knocks’. Parents here provide food, clothing and shelter to their kids. A holistic upbringing is denied as recreational and simple pleasures of life are non-existent.
The effects of Uninvolved Parenting
As sad as it may sound, kids born to neglectful parents’ deal with a lot of emotional turmoil in their lives. The feeling is mutual and the kids develop a sense of aloofness towards their mother and father. They withdraw from social situations and they develop a sense of loneliness. Truancy in school and patterns of delinquency are shown during adolescence. They are prone to anxiety, depression, fear and stress. They defy authority figures at home and school such as parents, relatives, and teachers and are at a high chance of getting addicted to drugs and delinquency. They lack self-control and have low self-esteem.
4} Authoritative Style – Considered one of the most preferred style of parenting, as it communicates in an extremely accepting, nurturing, and warm way. Restrictions are laid out in a firm manner while holding them responsible for their actions. Parents provide a vital structure that’s required in the family environment with utmost understanding, love and respect for their children. The opinions and views of kids are considered and respected. They are encouraged to think for themselves and consider consequences of any controversial actions to the established guidelines.
The effects of Authoritative Parenting
Children are quite sociable and good at developing positive relationships. They do well in school as well as academic testing. Along with being emotionally stable, they develop empathy and have a more balanced approach to life.
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