Skills that are obvious and known to men are: performing skills (like singing, dancing and acting), skills in painting, skills in sports, skills in Math, skills in cooking and in baking etc.
Like those skills mentioned above, raising up children is a mixture of the delicate balance between responsibility and skills.
There is such term as “Parenting Skills”. Like those skills mentioned, parenting skills are also honed and enhanced. Skills in parenting however, is different. Parenting skills become required as soon as you become a parent. There is no such thing as “Parenting is not my skill”. When you become a parent, you have to have this skill.
While there is no university, school or special classes that teach parents about parenting skills, skills in parenting can be learned. It is not something that you discover and voila… you are good at it. Parenting is more of practicing your responsibility as a parent in loving but practical means.
Parents’ best teachers are indeed their day to day experiences as parents. Mistakes in parenting are very normal and usual especially for first time parents. First time parents feel all the anxiety, fear and worry about their children and their children’s future. Apprehensions and hold backs are normal for parents and again, most especially the first time parents. Simply said, parenting starts with, “I really do not know what to do first.”
Parenting skills officially start when the baby comes out of your womb. Being a parent means you are the source of guidance, care and love to your children. Parenting skills also vary. There are those who are very creative, some are strict and total disciplinarians, others are so loose about their children while others are still nervous about their skills as parents.
Do not worry. Parenting skills take time and are not developed and enhanced over night. As your children grow, you also grow with them in essence. Parenting skills are not also transferable. No one can do the parenting best that you- because the main responsibility is given to you as parent. You cannot expect that your neighbor next door will be the parent for your children. Nor can you expect that your children’s teachers will become the main parent. Parenting skills start with you and in you.
Parenting skills are not something that is graded. No one can accuse you that you are a bad parent however, your children and who they will become in life is a big marker for you. How you have raised your children will reflect on the choices that they make in life, even if they are all grown up. Life has given you so much time to help shape your children’s future, so shape it in the best way.
While self help books and your parent friend’s advices are available for you, there is no blueprint for parenting. As mentioned above, experience is the best teacher. However, it is important also to seek advice from parents who are respected and reputable. No one is stopping you to imitate something that is worth looking out for.
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