Parents, do you need to enhance or improve your parenting skills? Being a parent in the 21st century isn’t the same as it was 20 or more years ago. Your children are internet savvy and are growing up at a faster rate than you did. Outdated parenting skills may not work for you and your kids. Parenting your kids based on how your parents raised may not work. Be open and willing to learn new parenting skills that can improve your relationship with your children. You’ll decrease your stress level and have a happy and healthy family.
How to Improve Your Parenting Skills – 10 Tips
Listen. Sometimes it’s best to close your mouth. Nine times out of ten your kids just want you to listen to them. They don’t want advice and don’t want to hear that you experienced the same thing when you were there age. They want your attention and time. Be quiet and really listen to them. Thank them for coming to you with their problems and reassure them that you’ll always be there for them.
Stop being a friend. Your kids have enough friends; they need you to be a parent. Most kids don’t want their parents to be their friend; they want and expect them to be their parents.
Keep the lines of communication open. No matter how many times your children piss you off, keep the lines of communication open. They’re testing you just like you may have tested your parents. Remember, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Communication is important. Don’t use a passive/aggressive approach to parenting. You’re the adult — act like one.
Show up. How many times have you’ve blown off your child’s soccer game or play? Yes, work obligations may keep you from attending all of their games, but make an effort to be there for them. If you can’t be there in person, have someone videotape the game or play and watch it with your kids. It’s the next best thing you can do.
Take an active interest in your child’s education. Do you show up for parent/teacher conferences? Do you check your child’s homework? How many times do you ask them how school was? It’s your job to make sure your children are getting a good education. Get to know their teachers, principal, and assistant principal. You may not be able to join the PTA or become a ‘Room Mom or Dad,’ but you can still be involved in your child’s education.
Create boundaries. It’s up to you to set the boundaries. When you child cross boundaries, there must be an effect because of it. Let them know what is and isn’t acceptable behavior.
Make children do chores. How will your children learn responsibility if you do everything for them? What happens if you meet an untimely and unexpected death? How will they survive? Assign chores based on age. Teenagers are old enough to learn how to cook, clean, and do laundry. Younger children can help take the garbage out and clean up their room (teenagers as well). Doing chores is a fantastic way to teach children leadership and responsibility. It will serve them now and in the future.
Stop babying your children. If you haven’t taught your kids how to cut their own food by now, you may have bigger problems. If you’re still doing this for a 10-year-old, you may want to enroll in a parenting class. If your children don’t know right from wrong then this is an area that could use improvement. If you have rules and regulations they are to be followed. When kids break the rules an appropriate punishment is warranted. There’s no exception.
Allow children to make mistakes. How will your children learn if they don’t make mistakes? You may not like the fact that kids make mistakes but it’s the only way they’ll learn. You may think you’re doing your kids a favor by sheltering them or correcting their mistakes but you’re doing more harm than good. Your kids will be out of the house and on their own. What happens when you’re not available to help them? Learning from mistakes is a rite of passage for everyone. How did you learn? Did your parents do everything for you? Allowing children to make and learn from mistakes is a great way for them to learn how to be independent.
Allow children to become independent. Some parents have a rough time with this one because they believe their children won’t need them anymore. This isn’t true. The best thing you can do is to help your children become independent. Allow them to pick out their own clothes. If it’s too risqué then you have the right to censor it. Let them select their own hairstyle and color. If children are allowed to make their own choices, they’ll learn the benefits and consequences of them.
Bonus!
Listen to your ‘gut instinct’ and intuition. There are many parenting blogs, websites, articles (including this one) classes, and workshops available to you. Take what works for you and your family and leave the rest. You may find some information resonates with you while others do not. Don’t feel like you have to listen to everyone. Always do what’s best for you and your family.
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