Why Tough Love Parenting is Best For Your Kids

Your parenting style has the greatest influence on your child’s development. Studies have shown that children from wealthier backgrounds are more likely to acquire the traits and skills that set them up for success later in life, rather than those from poorer family situations. However, your parenting style can overcome any socio-economic factors to have the dominant impact on what sort of person your child grows up to be.

So what sort of parenting style is best? Generally, styles of parenting fall into one of four types:

Liberal – permissive, high level of caring, low level of discipline

Autocratic – strict, low level of caring, high level of discipline

Detached – hands off, low level of caring, low level of discipline

Authoritative – firm but fair, high level of caring, high level of discipline

Most child psychologists and counselors now agree that the authoritative, also colloquially known as “tough love”, style of parenting is best. Tough love involves being firm, but at the same time also being fair, in your dealings with your kids. Here are some ways to be an authoritative, or “tough love” parent:

• Be negotiable, but not about anything and everything, and don’t be afraid to use the word “no” when it is in your child’s best interests.
• Set consistent boundaries and limits. These limits should be adapted as your kids get older and more mature.
• Ensure that your children are responsible for their actions and that they have to suffer the consequences of those actions.
• Focus positive comments on your child’s effort, rather than their ability or performance.
• Help your kids to be independent – don’t do things for them that they can do themselves.
• Adopt a philosophy of open communication and let your children know that they can talk to about anything, no matter how bad it may be.

Raising your children by being consistent and firm, in a empathetic and caring way, gives you the best chance of successful outcomes as a parent. Your child will find their own self confidence and establish other good personality traits.

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