Your kids are driving you crazy. You're trying to figure out how you can get a break from the fighting, the whining, the tantrums and the defiance. You've used all the tools you have up your sleeve and nothing seems to be working. You're at your wits end.
Parenting is something we all think we should instinctively know how to do. After all, our great grandparents did it, our grandparents and our parents did it. No one ever consulted anyone except their neighbor or their mother. In fact it was all pretty black and white. When kids misbehaved they got spanked or / or sent to their room and you knew to fear your father. How many of us heard "Just wait until your father comes home". It's unlikely you heard anyone questioning their methods. That's just the way it was done.
Times have changed. We now know that many of the child rearing methods of the previous generation has resulted in adults who doubt themselves, who are riddled with insecurities, are constantly seeking attention in some way or another or can not control their anger. That's the short list. Hoards of us are reading every self-help book we can get our hands on and attending workshops and seminars that promise to eliminate all the negative self-talk we have going on in our heads and teach us to live more consciously.
The truth is good, effective parenting is something that can be learned. Many, many people have delved deeply into the area to find out what we need to do as parents to produce well-adjusted, secure, productive loving individuals. They've come up with answers that defy what many of us were brought up to believe.
When we give birth to or adopt a child, should we automatically know what to do? No. To some people it seems to come naturally but for most people, much of this job we call parenting, eludes them. Much of the time they're just falling back to what they learned from their parents. Some of that, without a doubt was wise, but not all of it. Many of us question the way were raised but we still repeat the mistakes of the previous generation. We do it without even thinking.
We hire a consultant, a mentor, a trainer or a coach to help us be a better tennis player, a successful business owner, a fast swimmer, a good golfer, a great painter but many of us are hesitant to hire someone to help us with the most important job we'll ever have; raising a child. We only get one chance to do this right.
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